How to be a Godly Wife

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Growing up as a little girl, I remember reading all those fairytale books where the princess finds her prince, gets married, and they live happily ever after. It looked so simple and easy. We all love a good fairytale ending. It all looks so simple. If only marriage was like a Walt Disney movie. Marriage is one of the hardest journeys you can take in this life. Chris and I have been married for 16 years, and it’s been quite the journey. Life has certainly taken us down many paths. We are a great team, and since we do not have any children, we depend on each other so much more. I am always trying to be the wife I should be, a Godly wife.

Proverbs 31 provides a beautiful depiction of how a Godly wife should be. It’s one of the most well-known chapters of the Bible. But in order to understand what it means to be a Godly wife, we must first understand what it means to be Godly. To be Godly is a personal attitude towards God that results in actions that are pleasing to Him. A Godly woman is rare and very hard to find; however, the same thing could be said about the Godly man as well. But as we look at Proverbs 31, we will put our focus on the characteristics of a Godly wife. Let’s examine just a few of these.

One attribute is that “The heart of her husband safely trusts her.” Ladies, your husband must trust you because trust is so important in any relationship. Trust must lie at the heart of a successful marriage. Even in moments of anger or in the midst of arguments, there must be complete trust. Trust also involves the handling of the home, finances, and family matters. He should know that no matter where he is or what he is doing, all is ok and he does not have to worry.

The second attribute is that “She does him good and not evil.”This verse means using our words to build our husbands up and support him, even when he is not around to hear it. As a preacher’s wife, I have heard many people criticize Chris in a negative light. Wives, let’s not add fuel to the fire by joining in on their criticism. Let’s be a peacemaker. Let’s be there to pick their heads up when they feel defeated. Words hurt and men are not immune to feeling worthless and beat down from time to time.

Another trait is that “She seeks wool & flax and willingly works with her hands.” This means she takes good care of her family and makes sure that their needs are met. We must provide food for our household. We must also look after our family and take responsibility for things to be done instead of being lazy. We must learn to serve others with food and our personal skills. Have a home that is open and hospitable.

Another attribute is that “She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.” The imagery here is of a woman who sees the work that needs to be done, so she gets prepared to do it. She doesn’t whine about it; she goes at it prepared to give it her all. She is also strong mentally, physically and emotionally. She is strong and ready, no matter what comes her way. She has great inner strength which allows her to accomplish her goals.

Again we see that a Godly wife “opens her mouth with wisdom and her tongue is the law of kindness.” One of the things that makes her such a Godly and wise woman is the fact that she has control over her attitude and over her mouth. Ladies, do you ever notice we always end up speaking that which is in our heart? So let’s make sure we have submitted our heart over to God first. When we speak, we need to speak with kindness and graciousness. We need to mind our own business and not poke our nose into other people’s affairs, but when asked, we must learn to speak forth with skillful and godly wisdom.

Finally, we are told she is “a woman who fears the Lord.”The real worth of a woman is her devotion to God. Our looks will fade with time. The grey hair may show, the wrinkles may slowly creep in, and our health may falter, but there is nothing more beautiful about a woman than a heart that fears the Lord and obeys His Word. Her beauty lies in her faith in God.

There are times that being a Godly wife can be difficult and sometimes even overwhelming. The difficulties of life and sometimes our ability to live out our Godly calling as wives can be challenging. We look to the world to see how to fix our marriages and how to be a perfect wife, but looking to God and His Word is the right direction to take. When we read and trust his word, true wisdom will come.

Ladies, Proverbs 31:10 says, “Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.” Let’s not forget, in all you do as a wife or mother, that you are truly valued by God.