Dealing with Loss

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Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

One of the most difficult things to deal with in this life is the death of a loved one. Even for the Christian, death is a part of life. I would say anyone who reads this has experienced some type of loss in his or her life. We know that following a death, everyone handles things differently. Some are instantly devastated, others feel numb and disconnected, some may withdraw socially, while others reach out for help. What’s more, just when the initial shock begins to subside, a deeper sense of reality sets in. Grief can affect our behavior, emotions, relationships, and even our health. My personal experience with a death has definitely taken me on an emotional roller coaster.

Two days after Thanksgiving, on November 29, 2014, I lost my sweet mom to brain cancer. It was the worst day of our families’ lives. I remember all the feelings and emotions I personally went through. I asked many questions, questions directed to God asking why is this happening or why is our mom, wife, and Granny being taken from us? I found myself feeling angry because I could not imagine life without her. I wondered why so many wicked people get to live and my sweet, caring mom was taken from us all. As a Christian, I knew better than to ask these questions, but with the devastation of it all, I faltered. I had never experienced anything that tested my faith like this.

After her death, for the first few months, my grief affected my job, my daily living, and even my marriage. I shut everyone out and was in a dark place. I knew that I needed to immerse myself in prayer and God’s word to help me with my broken heart. The Bible is filled with comforting words, and I knew I needed to read and apply it to my life. One of the first verses that comes to mind is Matthew 11:28, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” To me, this is the verse of all verses, because it is so true. For anyone who mourns and tries to cope with the death of a loved one, you can rely on God’s word to get you through some of the toughest and most trying times you have ever faced.

The Bible offers comfort because God knows and understands what we’re going through. God’s word and prayer helped me through the darkest times of my grief and continues to do so on a daily basis. Yes, I still have an emotional breakdown from time to time, but it’s only because I miss her so much. The holidays are not the same, and I admit, I don’t enjoy this time of year like I used to. Mom would want me to enjoy this time, but I have not mastered that as of yet.

However, there is hope that one day, if we stay faithful, we have a promise of no more tears or sadness. It’s the promise that we read about in Revelation 21:4: “and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” God can give us the peace that we need to get through the death of a loved one. The memories linger and the mixed emotions still hurt our hearts, but if we just lean on Him, He will be there. He is extending His hand to you. He can give you peace that covers all the pain.

In memory of the greatest woman I have had in my life…my mom.